Season 1 Episode 1 Las Vegas
by Codyisland123
Summary: The Griffins go to Las Vegas because Peter and Lois want to bond with the kids. But the story is mostly based around Meg and Peter.
1. Alexandra

This story is written in the form of a script. If you dont like it. GET OUT!  
-

*Starts at the Griffins kitchen where Peter is eating steak and Lois is cooking*  
Peter: Hey Lois.  
Lois: What?  
Peter: Where has Meg been?  
Lois: Why do you care? You havent cared since she turned 4 *Flashback to when Meg was 4*  
Peter: Oh hello! Your mommy picked out this very ugly set of clothes! *Shows the set* Here you go sweetie!  
*Present*  
Peter: Well she has been out alot. I wonder where she has been?  
Lois: Maybe she has some friends.  
Peter: Who is friends with meg? Everyone I know is afraid of her or they kill themselves and she tried to do something to them.  
Lois: Me and Meg just need to bond a little more. Even better, the whole family!  
Peter: Oh geez Lois. This is gonna be like the time you took us to seaworld.  
*Flashback at seaworld*  
Peter: *Walks up to whale with Brian* Hey look at these big guys.  
Brian: Yep.  
Peter: *Sees hole* I know what im gonna do.  
Brian: No Peter dont!  
Peter: *Breaks glass with his fists and goes on top of the whale* Alright now fella. *Camera moves to Brian and Peter pull his pants down*  
*Present*  
Lois: No, its gonna be fun!  
Peter: Alright.  
Lois: We can bond with all 3 of them. I take Chris and Stewie. You take Meg.  
Peter: Why cant you take Meg?  
Lois: Because Peter, you two need to really bond. Peter: But Lois!  
Lois: Peter, just do it.  
Peter: Alright. So where are we going.  
Lois: Las Vegas!  
Peter: Las Vegas!  
Lois: Yes! Las Vegas!  
Peter: Well lets get packing! I got to play and take craps! *Runs to the bathroom*  
*Later on the couch in the living room*  
Brian: *Packing bags and sees leash and picks it up* What is this?  
Stewie: *Walks in* Its your leash you filthy dog!  
Brian: Oh, Stewie Stewie: Yes, hello Brian.  
Brian: What do you want.  
Stewie: Thought I would give you a little something for the trip.  
Brian: Why would I need this.  
Stewie: You may get. Wild...  
Brian: Wild?  
Stewie: You know.  
Brian: Not everyone gets drunk in vegas Stewie.  
Stewie: While you are getting drunk and crapping. I would like some beers.  
Brian: I cant just give you beers. We are gonna be near the family.  
Stewie: What if they are not looking. Tell them you are gonna take me to some sight seeing places.  
Brian: Fine. I will give you some beer but if we get caught you will pay.  
Stewie: Alright, alright dog.  
Brian: Its Brian.  
Stewie: Oh your funny! Your funny!  
Brian: Want me to choke you with this leash.  
Stewie: No! *Runs away*  
Brian: *Throws leash in trash* Where did he get that anyway?  
*Later on in the same area with Chris, Peter, Lois, Brian and Stewie are watching TV*  
Meg: *Opens the door and walks in with a not ugly girl* Hey everyone!  
Peter: Who is this? *Gets up and walks up to the Meg*  
Meg: My new friend! Her name is Alexandra.  
Peter: How come she is not ugly like you Meg?  
Alex: Did you just call Meg, ugly?  
Peter: Well look at you, you look like a jackpot and she looks like...  
Meg: DAD! STOP! Anyways Alex, wanna come inside?  
Alex: Sure Megan!  
Meg: Call me Meg.  
Alex: Ok Meg!  
*At dinner table all of the family and Alex are sitting down and eating Hamburgers and Patatos*  
Lois: So... Meg! We are going to Las Vegas today!  
Meg: LAS VEGAS!  
Lois: Yes honey.  
Meg: This ruins all my plans!  
Lois: What were you planning to do?  
Meg: Um... I was planning to hang out with Alex! But now you ruined all our plans!  
Lois: Meg, if I had any change to go to Vegas I would! You probably wont get the chance again sweetie!  
Meg: But mom!  
Lois: You can see your friend when we come back!  
Meg: Or... *Thinks* How about we take Alex!  
Lois: Oh we couldnt!  
Meg: Yes you can!  
Lois: Alright. Peter you also get Alexandra.  
Meg: What do you mean Peter gets me.  
Lois: Well we were looking for ways to bond with you, Chris and Stewie.  
Meg: But why cant i bond with you.  
Lois: Well, Peter never gets to have much time with you. And Chris and Stewie dont have alot of time with me. So im gonna take around Chris and Stewie. Peter gets you, your friend and Brian.  
Meg: Oh this is gonna be the worst trip ever.  
Peter: Its not all that bad Meg! We are only gonna go on the hardcore rides!  
Meg: Oh god. THIS IS GONNA SUCK! *Runs up to room*  
Lois: So, anyways. Alex. Will your parents approve of you coming?  
Alex: Yeah. They will approve of anything.  
Lois: Well, alright then.  
Alex: One thing I wanna know is why did her dad call her Ugly?  
Lois: Um... *Looks at Peter* 


	2. Dysfunctional

*Continues where left off*  
Peter: Uh... *Scratches head* Well Alex, Meg likes to be called that.  
Meg: NO I DONT! *Shouts from upstairs*  
Peter: Um... Alright honey!  
Alex: Whatever. So when is the trip to Las Vegas?  
Peter: Well we are getting on the flight 5 hours from now. So... *Looks at clock* 6:00!  
Lois: Peter... Thats 5:00.  
Peter: Oh.  
Alex: *Looks at Peter like hes crazy*  
Peter: *Laughs* Anybody wanna pick on Meg?  
Alex: Maybe you should try and be a little nicer to her.  
Lois: Yeah Peter. Thats the whole reason shes bonding with you.  
Peter: Is this torture or what Lois?  
Alex: So... What I can hear is your names Lois and that is Peter.  
Lois: Yes.  
Chris: *Looks at Alexandra* Hello.  
Alex: Whats your name?  
Chris: My name is Chris.  
Alex: Hello Chris. You must be Megs Brother.  
Chris: Why yes I am.  
Alex: Nice to meet you, Chris.  
Lois: You seem like a pretty nice girl.  
Peter: Get rid of her.  
Lois: Peter. No. Shes nice, and a friend of Meg.  
Peter: A friend of Meg is not a friend of mine!  
Alex: What is wrong with you. I have to go to Vegas with you?  
Lois: Sadly you do, now Peter be nice and have a normal conversation.  
Peter: Hi.  
Alex: Hello...  
Lois: Ugh. *Leaves dinner table*  
Peter: Bye. *Runs away*  
Meg: *Walks downstairs to table* Are they gone?  
Alex: Yes Meg.  
Meg: Good.  
Alex: Hey Meg, after the trip wanna...  
Meg: Wanna what?  
Alex: Wanna have...  
Meg: Have?  
Alex: *Sweating hard* a autopsy.  
Meg: What?  
Alex: Nothing!  
Meg: Look Alex your very nice to come on the vacation with us.  
Alex: No problem Meg. But your dad seems pretty...  
Meg: Pretty rude I know.  
Alex: Well, i was wondering if you can come to my house and have a party.  
Meg: A party? What kind of party?  
Alex: A sleepover.  
Meg: Sure! My parents probably wont care either.  
Alex: Great!  
Meg: I am always left out of everything. But if you are willing to take me in great!  
Alex: Anything for you Meg!  
Brian: *Walks in with Stewie* Hello Meg.  
Meg: Oh hello Brian!  
Brian: Hey Meg.  
Stewie: Has Meg got a friend?  
Brian: Looks like it.  
Stewie: Wonder if they are gonna do it.  
Brian: Im sure they are just friends.  
Stewie: They are very close.  
Brian: What are the chances?  
Stewie: Meg has turned lesbian twice Brian. Remember that time she turned lesbian just to impress some guy but failed.  
*Flashback to Meg being a lesbian*  
Meg: Wanna do it babe.  
Girl: All the way.  
Guy: I didnt say I wanted you to have sex!  
Meg: *Looks at the guy with wide eyes* OH.  
*Present*  
Alex: Come here Stewie! *Picks up Stewie*  
Stewie: Who is this?  
Meg: Stewie meet my friend Alex.  
Stewie: Well hello Alex.  
Alex: Hes so cute! Is he yours?  
Meg: *Eyes open big* No... Its my moms.  
Alex: You mean Lois?  
Meg: Yes. Im only 18. I dont wanna ruin my life now.  
Alex: Why is it runing your life? A baby is a special gift from God.  
Meg: I know but sometimes they can be a pain in the ass.  
Stewie: Are you saying im a pain in the ass?  
Brian: Not you, babys in general.  
Stewie: Shes saying im a pain in the ass!  
Brian: Well I cant say your not.  
Stewie: Are you saying im a pain the ass?  
Brian: Yes.  
Stewie: Come here! *Jumps on Brian*  
Meg: Bad Stewie! *Picks up Stewie* Why are you being bad?  
Stewie: Im not being bad! The dog needed it! And so do you! *Slaps Meg*  
Alex: Oh my god Meg? Are you alright?  
Meg: Stewie just acts up.  
Alex: I feel like Peter and Stewie need to bond.  
Meg: Trust me, they dont. They once tried to hurt mom together!  
Alex: Thats horrible! And hes suppose to be her husband!  
Meg: Yeah, but I love them even though they may be mean to me some times.  
Brian: *Stewie is fake crying* Alright im gonna take stewie now bye.  
Meg and Alex: Bye Brian.  
*At couch in living room where Peter and Brian are sitting*  
Peter: I cant belive Meg has a friend!  
Brian: This isnt anything new. She had friends and lost them.  
Peter: Wait I know what I can do.  
Lois: *Walks in* What you two talking about.  
Peter: Lois...  
Lois: Yes?  
Peter: Can you take Brian?  
Lois: Why?  
Peter: Brian you need to bond with Lois.  
Lois: Alright.  
Peter: I get Meg, Alex and Stewie. You get Chris and Brian. Deal?  
Lois: Fine. Deal! 


	3. Plane Ride

*In the Griffin Family Car*  
Peter: *Driving with Meg, Stewie and Brian in the second row. Chris in the third row, and Lois and Peter in the front* We are almost there!  
Stewie: Oooh. This is gonna be sooo fun!  
Brian: But just remember most of the beers are for me.  
Stewie: Alright, alright!  
Peter: Alright we are here! *Stops car at the airport*  
*In the room where they check your bags*  
Stewie: *Gives Bryan his bags* Here.  
Brian: Why do I need these?  
Stewie: I have secret things in them.  
Brian: Stewie im not putting your bags of evil on the checking counter.  
Stewie: Just do it.  
Brian: *Opens bag and is surprise of whats in it* Guns?  
Stewie: Yes guns. Just incase of any terrorists.  
Brian: There isnt gonna be any terrorists.  
Stewie: Oh please. Lois and Peter got terrorist attacked just a couple years ago!  
Brian: Well we cant check this. They wont accept it.  
Stewie: Hmm... Your right. Maybe we can sneak them in another way.  
Brian: Ok we have to put the bags on the counter now go. *Gives stewie his bags and he walks away*  
Peter: *Puts bags on the counter* Wheres Stewie?  
Brian: *Stewie comes back without bags* Here.  
Stewie: Put the bags in the plane.  
Brian: You what!?  
Stewie: Yes. They wont find it there.  
Brian: Ugh.  
*In the plane Lois and Peter take a seat. Brian and Stewie take the seats next to them. Meg and Chris take the seats in front of Brian and Stewie*  
Stewie: *Picks up bags and puts them in the top where the luggage casers are with everyone else* See, told you I know what im doing.  
Brian: Im sure we arent gonna get terrorrist attacked now.  
Stewie: You cant be too sure Osama isnt gonna pop through that door.  
Brian: Osama is dead.  
Stewie: Oh yes. Right.  
Brian: *Stewie sits back down* This is gonna be the best 2 days of my life...  
Stewie: Oh yes it is Brian!  
Pilot: And we will be taking off... now! *Planes flys off*  
Peter: I wish you were still a pilot Lois.  
Lois: I wasnt a pilot Peter.  
Peter: Right.  
Chris: Are we there yet!  
Lois: No.  
Chris: Are we there yet!  
Lois: No.  
Chris: Are we!  
Meg: Shut up Chris.  
Chris: Your one to talk Meg.  
Person: Can you stop talking!  
Peter: No. Now we are having a nice family conversation!  
Person: Well keep it down.  
Peter: Alright, alright calm your fat tits.  
Person: Im a guy.  
Peter: Well you have big fat moobs.  
Guy: *Walks up and trips* OUCH!  
Peter: Hahaha! See.  
Chris: Dad, that guy looks like you!  
Peter: What you say?  
Chris: Nothing!  
Peter: Good. Now remember never to do what he did.  
Chris: Ok.  
Peter: Now. Waiter! Food!  
Waiter: Alright. *Trips on guy* What the heck!  
Peter: Never be a waiter Chris.  
Chris: Alright.  
Pilot: WHO FELL! *Plane goes down*  
Meg: THE PLANES GOING DOWN!  
Peter: Shut up Meg.  
Lois: No! Peter! Its going down!  
Peter: Wait, what! *Looks out window* Oh crap!  
Stewie: *Jumps up and gets bags* Time for the guns!  
Brian: This isnt a terrorist attack, we are going to die!  
Stewie: Oh... *Looks out window* WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!  
Brian: Stay calm stewie and... OH NO WE ARE GOING TO DIE! *Hugs Stewie and Stewie hugs him Stewie: Is this gay?  
Brian: Not at all.  
Stewie: Good.  
Chris: Quick! Grab on to something! *Grabs Meg* OH NO! *Pushs Meg into Stewie*  
Stewie: *Punches Meg and knocks her out* I felt a ugly feeling.  
Lois: *Hugs Peter* We are going to die!  
Peter: No! *Pushes Lois over and runs into the pilot room* Let me do the work!  
*At pilots room*  
Pilot: Why?  
Peter: Just let me!  
Meg: *Gets up and walks over to Peter* Dad?  
Peter: *Punches Meg* Who was that? Anyways. LET ME DRIVE IT! *Pushes Pilot over* Alright now.  
Pilot: You dont know how to drive it!  
Peter: Your right I dont! *Takes wheel and plane goes up* Hey I did it!  
Pilot: Thats really good Peter now im gonna go you fly.  
Peter: Ok. *Pilot jumps out the window* Wait I fly!?  
Pilots Assistan: Yeah, see ya. *Jumps out*  
Peter: Oh come on!  
Lois: *Walks in* Peter are you alright?  
Peter: Yes I am! I saved us all!  
Lois: My man saves the day!  
Peter: Yes he does. Even though 2 Pilots just killed themselves I dont care!  
Lois: Me neither! *Grabs Peter*  
Peter: Not now im flying.  
Lois: Alright, you do your thing captain Griffin.  
Peter: Yes. Captain Griffin.  
Lois: *Talks on microphone* Everybody! The flight is back on its way!  
Peter: And im flying! *Planes goes down*  
Lois: Peter go back up!  
Peter: Oh yeah. *Flys back up* 


	4. Here We Are

*Where we left off*  
Peter: I never felt this important since I was a teacher!  
*At teaching room*  
Peter: *Walks in the room and fixes tie* Hello. I am Peter Griffin. *Writes on board James Bond*  
Student: Hey your not James Bond! You just said your name is Peter Griffin!  
Peter: *Hey whats that! *Points at the roof and everybody looks and Peter runs out with a gun*  
*At the drinking fountain of the school*  
Peter: *On Walkietalkie* Alright I managed to have got out of there.  
Guy on Walkietalkie: Good, good.  
*Present*  
Peter: *On microphone* Alright, im the man in charge!  
*Where the plane seats are*  
Chris: I wanna jump out of a plane!  
Meg: Gladly make me do it.  
Chris: Ok! *Pushes Meg but she grabs onto the seat*  
Meg: Not really! Fat slob.  
Stewie: Save us!  
Brian: I think we are safe. *They let go of eachother*  
Stewie: We are safe!  
Brian: Im not gonna die at 8!  
Stewie: Im not gonna die at 1!  
Midget: Im not gonna die at 95!  
Brian: *Looks at midget* You are 95?  
Midget: Yes. What. Is it because im small?  
Brian: Well...  
Midget: Isnt it! DOG!  
Brian: I Guess!  
Midget: Your making fun of me now! But not for long!  
Brian: Im not making fun! I mistaken!  
Midget: Mark my word dog!  
Brian: Alright!  
Chris: Meg, Meg, Meg!  
Meg: What!  
Chris: Why are you so mad?  
Meg: WHAT DO YOU NEED CHRIS!  
Chris: NOTHING!  
Meg: Thats what I thought.  
Brian: Why are you so insulted if I called you what you are?  
Midget: Because. I kill anyone who is mean to me Brian: I wanst trying to be mean!  
Midget: Thats what they all say. And then they laugh at me when I am out of their sight!  
Brian: Do you even have friends?  
Midget: No.  
Brian: Exactly.  
Meg: Chris, you almost killed me alot of times!  
Chris: Its fine Meg! *Pushes Meg*  
Meg; STOP!  
*That night at the cockpit*  
Peter: *On microphone* Alright everybody, have a good night. *giggles* Heheheheh. Oh and Brian please take my shift you have been sleeping all day.  
Brian: Sure. *Walks into the cockpit and takes peters seat* I have no experience either but this seems pretty easy.  
Peter: Alright good luck! *Walks out of the room*  
Brian: Alright... *Looks at controls* I wonder what these do...  
Peter: Oh and dont touch those!  
Brian: Ugh...  
Stewie: *Walks in the room and sits in the 2nd chair on the right* So how are you doing Brian.  
Brian: Great! Finally get to do something dangerous!  
Stewie: Wonder what these buttons do.  
Brian: Dont touch those stewie!  
Stewie: Alright, alright.  
Brian: *Looks ahead of him and Stewie pressed a button* You bastard.  
Stewie: Well what did it do?  
Meg: *Flys through the cockpit door* What the heck?  
Brian: That happened.  
Meg: Come here Stewie! Dont be pressing buttons like that *Picks up Stewie and brings him back to the seats*  
Stewie: Damn you!  
Brian: Alright... *On microphone* Stewie just pooped.  
Stewie: What the heck Brian! *Everyone who is not sleeping laughs*  
Brian: This feels good to be in control.  
*Next 2 days the plane lands in the Las Vegas airport*  
Brian: Here we are! Las Vegas!  
Chris: *Opens door* YAY! *Runs out and everybody walks out*  
*On the streets of Las Vegas*  
Brian: Beautiful I tell you.  
Lois: Yes it is!  
Peter: Lets go into a casino already!  
Brian: How about that one. *Points at a casino next to a billboard of a lawyer.  
Peter: Why are they so political here.  
Brian: Not really. There is alot of clubs.  
Peter: Thats it we should go to a club!  
Brian: We cant take Stewie inside, nor Meg or Chris.  
Chris: I want to get drunk!  
Lois: Chris, dont talk like that.  
Stewie: *Looks at Brian and nods*  
Brian: ugh. We can go after we get our hotel. How long are we gonna be here Lois?  
Lois: A week.  
Brian: Great and its only Monday. We have alot to do.  
Peter: Alright lets go!  
Bumb: Give me money!  
Peter: No! *Slaps bumb and the Griffins run away*  
Bumb: *Grabs Megs pant leg* Wanna go out.  
Meg: Um...  
Alexandra: *Walks up to Meg* Im here!  
Meg: Oh hey Alexandra.  
Alexandra: Who is this?  
Meg: Whats your name?  
Bumb: John Lennon.  
Meg: You cant be serious.  
Alexandra: Didnt he die years ago?  
Meg: Yeah.  
Bumb: Im reincarnated!  
Meg: Your crazy!  
Bumb: Everybody says that. *Stands up* Kiss me.  
Meg: Eww No!  
Bumb: Why is there something wrong with me?  
Meg: Im sorry, but you are just...  
Alexandra: Maybe we can take him in and fix him up!  
Meg: Yeah... 


	5. Hotel

*Where we left off*  
Meg: Is there many of you in Vegas?  
Bumb: We lost our homes, you know the story for a bumb like me always. But if you are willing to take me in that would be great ladys.  
Meg: No one has treated me this nice before! Even if you are a dirty hobo!  
Bumb: Grr...  
Meg: Sorry.  
Alexandra: We are gonna have so much fun!  
Meg: Wait... wheres my family. *Sees them walking down the street without her* Alright, lets go!  
*At a hotel*  
Peter: *Goes up to the front desk* Im Peter Griffin!  
Guy at Desk: ... Im Bob how are you?  
Peter: *Laughs so hard* BOB! THATS FUNNY! *Stops laughing* No but really what is your name.  
Bob: How may I help you?  
Peter: Me and my family, the griffins...  
Bob: JUST GET ON WITH IT!  
Peter: We need a hotel room.  
Bob: Ok.  
*In the hotel room*  
Lois: *Sits down on bed* These beds are so cozy!  
Peter: Yes Lois, they are. *Giggles* Heheheheh.  
Brian: The TV has all the channels that our cable has to offer!  
Peter: I know! How much is this on the bill?  
Lois: Forget the bill Peter!  
Peter: Alright.  
Brian: Wheres Meg?  
Peter: Probably out with some bumb.  
Lois: Well there is alot of bumbs here.  
Stewie: Oh please Lois, this isnt the first time you thought a bumb was dating Meg.  
*Flashback to Meg in a restraunt where a very ugly guy is sitting with her*  
Meg: So sexy, how are you doing?  
Lois: *Runs in* WHO IS THE BUMB THAT IS DATING MY DAUGTHER MEG!  
Meg: Mom!  
Lois: *Beats up her date* Come on Meg!  
Meg: He was not a bumb!  
Lois: Oh... *Looks at the body*  
Meg: I think you killed him...  
Lois: We should leave. *Runs out the door with Meg*  
*Present*  
Lois: Peter, whats the name of this hotel?  
Peter: You know, I dont know.  
Brian: How do you not know what the hotel name is?  
Peter: Well none of us looked at the name.  
Stewie: I did!  
Peter: I think its craps!  
Lois: Thats a game inside a casino.  
Peter: Hush im thinking.  
Stewie: I KNOW WHAT IT IS I LOOKED!  
Peter: Can you shush Stewie for a second I cant think!  
Lois: Peter, stop, lets just enjoy this moment.  
Peter: Well what are we gonna do in here?  
Chris: Watch TV!  
Peter: Thats the most brilliant thing anybody said all day!  
*Later on Peter, Lois who is holding Stewie are laying down while Brian is sitting in a chair on the left with Chris sitting in a chair on the right*  
Peter: *Changing channels* Theres nothing on TV.  
Brian: I think thats because we get all the channels here, you just dont know what to watch.  
Peter: I know. *Flicks through channels and finds porn and everybodys eyes get big*  
Chris: Boobies!  
Lois: Dont say that word Chris!  
Peter: *Changes channel and is going through a line of porn* Is there anything they dont have?  
Lois: Well when are we gonna get out of this zone of channels?  
Peter: Shush Lois, im watching this show. Its interesting.  
Brian: Your watching playboy.  
Chris: Bunnys!  
Peter: Alright heres the news.  
Tom Tucker: *On TV* Girl adopts bumb.  
Diane: Disgusting Tom.  
Tom: Yes, so are you Diane. Here is the picture of the suspect *Shows bumb*  
Diane: Thats not the suspect.  
Tom: Wasnt it a bumb?  
Diance: Thats what is doing the suspect.  
Tom: Oh, here is the suspect. *Shows evil monkey* Thats it.  
Diance: No its still not.  
Chris: Thats my evil monkey! *Points at TV*  
Tom: Oh here it is. *Shows a picture blurred out* She was too ugly to show.  
Peter: Wonder who that can be.  
Lois: Its Meg! Shes blurred out but i see its her!  
Peter: Finally shes meeting people!  
Lois: The wrong people Peter!  
Peter: Like Who?  
Lois: Like a bumb! They are filthy Peter: So what? She found someone right for her!  
Lois: Hes not right!  
Peter: Well if she loves him I accept it.  
Lois: He can give her a disease or something!  
Peter: So what?  
Lois: A disease!  
Peter: Shes Meg, since when did we care about her?  
Lois: I do.  
Brian: Try respecting her.  
Lois: Thats what this trip was for. To bond.  
Peter: Well thats not working out now is it?  
Lois: We need to find Meg! We still have a week of vacation and the family isnt complete without her!  
Peter: Maybe life will be better.  
Lois: You think so?  
Peter: Yeah!  
Lois: Well no one cares! We are finding her!  
Peter: Fine.  
Chris: Adventure!  
Peter: Can I jump out a window now?  
Lois: Lets stop fooling around and find her! *Everyone walks out the door except Peter*  
Peter: *Looks at window* Im gonna do it.  
Lois: *Walks back in and grabs Peter out* Dumbass. 


	6. Shes Gay

*Outside on the streets*  
Lois: Meg! Oh we are never gonna find her!  
Brian: Dont give up now. We still have the whole week.  
Lois: Wait. Is that Meg?  
Meg: *Feeding bumb* Open wide! *The Griffins run over to Meg*  
Peter: There is my little hobo!  
Lois: Meg, you are alright!  
Meg: Of course I am.  
Lois: Come on Meg, come to the hotel with us!  
Meg: NO! Im taking care of him!  
Lois: Come on Meg... dont make me take you!  
Meg: Take care of this guy. Hes helpless.  
Lois: He made himself like he is now COME ON!  
Meg: Fine. *Goes with them* Take good care of him Alex.  
Alexandra: I will.  
Lois: *Grabs Alexandra* You too.  
*At the hotel that night*  
Lois: Alright, Meg you are sleeping with alexandra, Chris go to your hotel room. Stewie, Brian you sleep with me and Peter. Night everybody!  
*Later on that night in Megs room*  
Meg: *Is sleeping on left and Alexandra is on the right* Night Alex.  
Alexandra: Hey Meg?  
Meg: Yeah?  
Alexandra: Nothing...  
Meg: What have you been wanting to tell me all this time Alex?  
Alexandra: Im lesbian.  
Meg: What!?  
Alexandra: Yes, I cant sleep here.  
Meg: This changes everything, but its alright.  
Alexandra: It is?  
Meg: Yeah, just dont do anything.  
Alexandra: Alright. *Goes to sleep and Meg go back to sleep* One touch?  
Meg: No.  
*The next morning in the hotel room where the TV is*  
Lois: Is this true?  
Alexandra: Yes.  
Meg: I swear we are not doing anything!  
Lois: Alright then. But the minute I see...  
Alexandra: Its alright!  
Lois: Ok. Peter today we are gonna bond.  
Meg: Well get ready.  
*On the sidewalk Meg, Alex, Stewie and Peter are walking*  
Peter: We are gonna have so much fun!  
Stewie: Brian better be getting me that beer!  
Alexandra: The baby is so cute .  
Stewie: Oh yes admire me!  
Peter: Here we are! Casino!  
Stewie: Check the name this time fatman!  
Peter: *Runs in and Alex, Meg and Stewie run after him* Havent been to one of these in years!  
Alex: They have casinos in Quahog?  
Peter: Not many. I dont even know if they do!  
Meg: Can we go to the restraunt after this?  
Alexandra: Yeah?  
Peter: Later. *Goes to slot machine*  
Meg: I always wanted to play one of these.  
Alexandra: I dont know why you have to be atleast 21.  
Meg: Well we cant just sit around.  
Peter: Hey Alexandra come look at this!  
Meg: What about me!  
Peter: Who said that?  
Alexandra: Just a second!  
Peter: Now, there was a game called craps. *Goes to the bathroom*  
Meg: Do you think we could pass for 21?  
Alexandra: Yeah! *Starts a game on the slots* Hey everyone we are 18 on the slots! See no one noticed!  
Meg: I guess its alright! *Touches slot machine*  
Manager: Get off it.  
Meg: What?  
Manager: You must be 21.  
Meg: I am 21!  
Manager: No you are 15.  
Meg: Im not 15!  
Manager: We got a...  
Meg: Dont you want me? *Grabs Manager and pushes him to a bathroom and locks door*  
*In the bathroom*  
Manager: What are you doing!?  
Meg: Give it to me baby.  
Manager: Why is this man taking his clothes off!  
Meg: *Takes off shirt*  
Manager: LET GO OF ME! RAPIST!  
Meg: *Pushes Manager in the bathroom stall and locks him in with the bucket and mop* You arent gonna do anything to me!  
Manager: I WASNT! LET ME OUT!  
*Where Alexandra was playing on the slot machines*  
Meg: Alright Alexand... Where did she go? *Sees Alexandra to guys at the coffee shop*  
*At coffee shop*  
Meg: Alexandra!  
Alexandra: Who are you?  
Meg: Megan Griffin!  
Guy: Is that your boyfriend?  
Alexandra: No, thats the girl we shouldnt talk about.  
Meg: What do you mean!?  
Alexandra: They said I shouldnt talk to you. They said you were low class.  
Meg: What the heck? Why are you hanging out with these losers!  
Alexandra: They are my friends now Meg.  
Meg: FRIENDS!?  
Alexandra: Yeah. Everyone was right that you are ugly, even your father.  
Meg: What have the done to you!?  
Alexandra: Im a better person now. I also want to wait till im to play on slot machines, unlike you.  
Meg: You got to be kidding me!  
Alexandra: Im not, now go with your father.  
Meg: Alex, I have no one else! You got to help me here!  
Alexandra: No can do. I dont help ugly people like you.  
Meg: You are just like everyone else! Maybe my father will treat me better than you!  
Alexandra: You know he hates you too.  
Meg: Why were you friends with me in the first place?  
Alexandra: At first I was nice, but now I got a ticket to Vegas!  
Meg: Where is my father anyways?  
Alexandra: He left you. Try finding him in this big casino.  
Meg: I never will!  
Alexandra: You know I said I was lesbian?  
Meg: Yeah.  
Alexandra: I lied. They told me you were a guy, so I thought you were lesbian but I guess not.  
Meg: Well im not taking you on the flight back home.  
Alexandra: You have too.  
Meg: Why?  
Alexandra: Lois cares about me more than you.  
Meg: Why do you tihnk that?  
Alexandra: Obviously. Everybody hates you.  
Meg: I dont care about you.  
Alexandra: Also my mom wants me back or she will beat you.  
Meg: Well too bad, you have a boyfriend here.  
Alexandra: Im sorry Danny.  
Danny: Its alright Alexandra baby.  
Meg: Well you can stay with her.  
Alexandra: You know what. I dont care about my parents.  
Meg: Why?  
Alexandra: I want them to beat you.  
Meg: Why cant you just be nice. I thought you were gonna be this whole time!  
Alexandra: You just dont have what it takes to be a girl.  
Meg: What did you say?  
Alexandra: You dont have what it takes. You are too ugly.  
Meg: *Jumps on Alexandra* 


	7. Shes Not Gay

*Where we left off*  
Danny: *Punches Meg* GET OFF HER!  
Meg: Whats it to you you drunken faggot.  
Danny: Faggot? I aint no faggot.  
Meg: I think she really is a lesbian!  
Alexandra: No! *Gets up*  
Danny: Shes my girlfriend you are some dude who showed up!  
Meg: How do i look like a guy!  
Danny: You do, even she worned me not to look into your soul or you will die.  
Meg: Thats not true!  
Danny: Kill me now. *Looks at Meg hard and dies*  
Alexandra: Danny! You will pay!  
Meg: He did it to himself!  
Alexandra: Theres a bunch of other guys over there to hit on me later.  
Meg: Oh my god! YOUR A WHORE!  
Alexandra: Nope, my boyfriend just died!  
Meg: You knew him for a couple minutes!  
Alexandra: We hooked up fast!  
Meg: Your a jerk!  
Alexandra: Think whatever you want.  
Meg: Cheater, Lesbian, Jerk, Whore! What are you next?  
Alexandra: At least I get guys!  
Meg: Im gonna find a guy here! *Sits down next to a guy at a table*  
Guy: Who are you?  
Meg: Megan Griffin!  
Guy: Your disgusting!  
Meg: Wanna go out?  
Guy: No! *Drops dead instantly*  
Alexandra: He was my next choice!  
Meg: This is stupid!  
Alexandra: You cant change me.  
Meg: I cant. So im leaving *Walks away*  
Alexandra: See ya Megan.  
Guy: *Sits down* Want to go out?  
Alexandra: Sur...  
Guy: You got ugly on you!  
Alexandra: MEGAN GRIFFIN!  
Guy: Whos that?  
Alexandra: No one.  
Guy: Oh, ok.  
*At slot machines*  
Peter: Heheheheh.  
Meg: *Runs to Peter* Dad!  
Peter: Go with that Alex girl im playing a game here.  
Meg: Im gonna go play some slots.  
Peter: Alright dont care.  
Meg: Great.  
Peter: Oh you are sexy together Q and K.  
*At the other slot machines*  
Meg: *Touches it and sits down* Awesome!  
Kid: Hey! That young girl is touching the slot machines!  
Mom: Dont you do that now.  
Meg: Oh come on!  
Peter: The Joker wants to make a three-some!  
Meg: Oh god.  
Biker Guy: *Sits down next to Meg and sees her* Oh I got it. *Sits in seat next to his* Hey come over here rob!  
Robert: Ok. *Sits down next to the biker guy* Ohhh! You got me! Ugly girl!  
Biker Guy: Yeah!  
Meg: Im not ugly!  
Biker Guy: Honey get a make over.  
Meg: I have!  
Biker Guy: What were you pretty before and now ugly?  
Robert: Yeah, do not want to look good?  
Meg: I got a makeover to look better but it didnt work out.  
Biker Guy: What, did you get a make over like that girl in a family band.  
Meg: I was in a family band, it went downhill.  
Biker Guy: Did you have blonde hair?  
Meg: Yeah.  
Biker Guy: Were you the girl on who showed everything!  
Meg: I guess.  
Biker Guy: Holy crap its her!  
Meg: Yes! Im Meg Griffin!  
Biker Guy: Wheres your father?  
Peter: *Walks up to Meg* Ill take her away just wait on second.  
Biker Guy: No, no. Your the members of that old family band!  
Peter: Why yes we are!  
Biker Guy: You guys are awesome.  
Peter: Thank you. Wait shes awesome?  
Biker Guy: Yeah, shes the lead.  
Peter: Oh your funny!  
Biker Guy: I mean she was hot back then and now shes this mess. What happened to her.  
Meg: I...  
Peter: She almost lost her virginity to a guy for a movie.  
Meg: Dad!  
Biker Guy: Wait. She slept with someone?  
Peter: When she was acturally getting somewhere.  
Biker Guy: Oh because *laughs* because!  
Peter: Spit it out! *Laughs* HAHAHAHAHAH!  
Meg: I thought you would be more supportive!  
Biker Guy: We are little Megan.  
Meg: Little!  
Biker Guy: Im sorry you will never get a guy.  
Meg: Ill show you!  
Peter: Yeah, you should date that neil kid.  
Meg: I said I dont want to date neil!  
Peter: God, Meg. Dont snap!  
Biker Guy: Please give us autographs!  
Peter: Well from me not from her!  
Biker Guy: Alright!  
Robert: Sweet!  
Peter: Give me paper.  
Robert: We dont have paper...  
Peter: No paper!? Alright *Takes out paper and writes his autograph on it and gives it to Biker Guy*  
Rdobert: What about me?  
Peter: You dont deserve one.  
Robert: What the hell?  
Peter: You arent as tough as him.  
Robert: I know, im skinny.  
Peter: Yes. And im fat. Enjoy your autograph sir.  
Biker Guy: Well this is awesome!  
Robert: That guy should sing!  
Biker Guy: Are you retarded?  
Robert: No?  
Biker Guy: Apparently you are.  
Robert: Why?  
Biker Guy: You said he should isng.  
Robert: And?  
Biker Guy: He used to be in a band.  
Robert: Ooh.  
Biker Guy: Were you dropped on your head as a kid?  
Robert: No...  
Biker Guy: Seems like it.  
Robert: I know, im sorry.  
Biker Guy: Why are you sorry.  
Robert: I dont know why.  
Biker Guy: CAPTAIN!  
Robert: Alright captain!  
Biker Guy: Captain?  
Robert: Captain...  
Biker Guy: You forgot?  
Robert: Yeah.  
Biker Guy: I wanna kick you so hard.  
Robert: Where?  
Biker Guy: *Kicks Robert in the balls*  
Robert: Ouch! *Falls to the ground*  
Biker Guy: Happy now?  
Robert: No!  
Biker Guy: Let me do it again.  
Robert: NO!  
Biker Guy: *Kicks him in the head* Yet?  
Manager: *Gets out of bathroom with pants down* What did I miss?  
Biker Guy: Not much.  
Manager: Oh really?  
Biker Guy: Yeah, all expect some ugly girl with a pink hat we met from an old band, and her father.  
Manager: She locked me in the bathroom!  
Biker Guy: She did?  
Manager: Yeah!  
Biker Guy: To think she was inocent!  
Manager: Well she was ugly.  
Biker Guy: Yeah I can give you that.  
Manager: She tried to make out with me.  
Biker Guy: Now thats too harsh.  
Manager: Yeah, WE SHOULD GET HER!  
Biker Guy: No we shouldnt. Ugly people we should not touch.  
Manager: Yeah, your right. What would they want in vegas.  
Biker Guy: I dont know but I got to take a craps. *Goes over to the craps room*  
Manager: Clever... Clever...  
Robert: Help me!  
Manager: What are you doing here?  
Robert: I dont know! Help me! He kicked my ball out!  
Manger: I dont think that is possible.  
Robert: Well it is!  
Manager: Alright your bullshittin me.  
Robert: No im not! no im not!  
Manager: Oh god. *Picks up Robert and he goes on his shoulders* Come with me.  
Robert: Pervert!  
Manager: You are crazy!  
Robert: No, im smart!  
Manager: Yeah yeah.  
Robert: At least im not a pervert like you are!  
Manager: Im not even gonna help you.  
Robert: Im sorry.  
Manager: Dont be sorry.  
Robert: I dont know why im sorry!  
Manager: Maybe i should go.  
Robert: I dont fit in like that Meg girl!  
Manager: Trust me, she kills people.  
Robert: She does!  
Manager: With her looks *They both laugh* No but really she does Robert: Crap.  
Manager: Yeah man.  
Biker Guy: *Comes back* Did you know I autograph from the Peter Griffin and the Ugliest Griffin!  
Manager: Yeah, your buddy in pain told me.  
Biker Guy: Oh he did! Its a funny story!  
Manager: Yeah it is!  
Biker Guy: You see that Alexandra girl over there. *Points at her*  
Manager: Yeah?  
Biker Guy: I would so do her!  
Manager: Me too!  
Robert: Me three!  
Biker Guy: Your disgusting Robert.  
Robert: Well atleast im not a dirty Biker Guy!  
Biker Guy: Dont call me dirty!  
Robert: Im not talking about you at all!  
Biker Guy: Yes you are!  
Robert: Nope. 


	8. Father Daughter Gay

*Where we left off*  
Manager: Do you guys want to get dinner later?  
Biker Guy: Yeah sure.  
Robert: That would be nice.  
Manger: What do you guys want?  
Biker Guy: I dont know but are we gay?  
Robert: I wouldnt say gay.  
Biker Guy: I would. God we are sitting here like little girls talking about our boyfriends.  
Manager: We might as well be gay!  
Biker Guy: Yeah.  
Robert: That sounds like a sit-com.  
Biker Guy: Yeah! Venessa, Meg and Christina!  
Robert: Whos Meg?  
Biker Guy: You.  
Robert: Awww What!?  
Biker Guy: Yeah.  
Robert: I wonder what the Griffins are doing.  
Biker Guy: Probably off annoying everyone.  
Robert: Only their daughter Meg.  
Biker Guy: Thats really funny. So funny I forgot to laugh.  
Robert: You got to give it props.  
Manager: I can just sell this casino right now.  
Biker Guy: I would too.  
Manager: Lets get out of here and get sex changes!  
Robert: Yeah!  
Biker Guy: Instead of Vinnie im Venessa.  
Robert: Im Christina!  
Biker Guy: That doesnt rhyme with your name.  
Robert: I know.  
Manager: Well then im Katy.  
Biker Guy: Perry?  
Manager: Great one man.  
Biker Guy: I know!  
*At the hotel room at night while everyones in bed*  
Peter: People finally noticed me and Meg from days ago!  
Lois: Thats great for you Peter.  
Peter: I feel important. I feel like Meg is my prize.  
Lois: Oh shes our number one.  
Peter: Oh thats funny!  
Lois: I know! *Laughs*  
Peter: *Laughs* HAHAHAH. *Everyone stops laughing* No but in all seriousness, Chris is my favorite. Meg is my least. Have you ever thought about giving her up for adoption.  
Lois: Never Peter!  
Peter: I have.  
Lois: I wonder what life without Meg would be like.  
Peter: Good.  
Lois: Chris wont have a sister, neither will Stewie.  
Peter: Yeah but no one will notice Lois: I will.  
Peter: Lois seriously.  
Lois: I am being serious.  
Peter: What is the difference we treat her like crap now.  
Lois: I cant live with the thought of giving her up for adoption!  
Peter: When we get home we are gonna do that.  
Lois: No we arent!  
Peter: You cant change my mind Lois!  
Lois: This is silly.  
Peter: Your right. No one else wants her.  
Lois: Yeah... Well night Peter.  
Peter: 5 More days. This is going so fast.  
Lois: Peter I dont even think you have bonded with Meg.  
Peter: Its hard too when im surrounded with slot machines and a ugly daughter.  
Lois: You have to try!  
Peter: Alright ill try.  
*Next day at the mall Meg and Peter are going up the escalators*  
Meg: Why dont I get some nice Vegas clothes!  
Peter: Meg, we never change our clothes.  
Meg: Lets see.  
Peter: Im a dude. Being seen with an ugly person buying cool clothes. I cant.  
Meg: How much worse is this vacation gonna be!  
Stewie: *Walks to clothes isle* Nice.  
*At a dressing room*  
Stewie: *Walks in and puts on a dress and some makeup and looks in the mirror* Too honey boo boo.  
Meg: *Comes in and picks up Stewie* Stewie this is the womens clothing!  
Stewie: I know... IM NOT GAY!  
Meg: *Walks out of the dressing room*  
Herbert The Pervert: *Walks in with tiara and a black dress on* I look sexy! I wish Chris was here.  
Chris: *Walks in* Hey !  
Herbert: Want some popsicles?  
*Where Peter is*  
Meg: *Walks to Peter holding Stewie* Stewie was in the dressing rooms!  
Peter: What have you done to Stewie!  
Meg: Nothing! He went for the clothing!  
Peter: YOU TURNED HIM INTO A LITTLE GIRL!  
Meg: NO I DIDNT!  
Peter: *Punches Meg and spits on her* Thats for doing that to Stewie!  
Stewie: Yay! Fatman punches Uglyman! Do it again Peter!  
Peter: *Punches Meg* HEHEHEHE!  
Stewie: HAHAHAHAH!  
*That night at the hotel bedrooms*  
Lois: Alright Meg you will be fine.  
Meg: Dad punched me pretty hard.  
Peter: You needed it! 


	9. Nice

*Starts where we left off*  
Meg: Well thanks alot dad!  
Peter: Hey, it wasnt that bad!  
Lois: Look Peter, you are ruining the point of the bonding idea!  
Peter: I know Lois...  
Lois: 4 more days dont ruin this.  
Peter: Yeah yeah, I wont.  
*Next day Chris, Lois and Brian are walking down the sidewalk*  
Lois: Beautiful day!  
Brian: Yep. Need to take a piss.  
Lois: Later Brian.  
Brian: *Sees fire hydrant* Ugh. *Goes and pees on the hydrant*  
Chris: Thats how he pees in the public?  
Brian: Like you never seen a dog pee before.  
Chris: I have not.  
Brian: Well im done. *Walks to Lois*  
Lois: Where do you guys want to go to next?  
Brian: Somewhere simple.  
Lois: Lets go to one of those Vegas shows where the girls dance!  
Chris: Girls dance?  
Lois: Yes! Lets go there!  
Chris: Ooh!  
Lois: Chris I know what your thinking.  
Chris: Aw...  
*At the show*  
Chris: WOOOO! *Catches beads* HAHAHAH.  
Brian: *Talking to Woman* So how was your day today Juilet. Cause I will be your romeo.  
Lois: This is so fun seeing one of these shows!  
*Across the room*  
Biker Guy: Why are we here, we are gay.  
Manager: I know, I thought we were going to eat?  
Robert: Plans canceled we are gonna do it.  
Manager: Oooh! A THREESOME! Sexy.  
Robert: Yes.  
Biker Guy: Hey they are throwing items!I Manager: Thats awesome!  
Roberts: Lets get some!  
Manager: Wait. Are they safe?  
Biker Guy: They arent sex toys.  
Manager: Ooh now thats dangerous thinking.  
Biker Guy: Yeah. Dangerous thinking. Sexy.  
Maanger: Lets do it now!  
Biker Guy: Oh yes, HIT ME!  
*Where Lois is*  
Lois: I wish i was one of these showgirls.  
Chris: That one looks like dad!  
Lois: Peter?  
Peter: *Is dancing dressed as one of the girl dancers* Hey Lois!  
Lois: Peter!  
Peter: Love you all! And shoutout to my family the Griffins!  
Crowd: Booo!  
Peter: Well Booo you too!  
Brian: Is that peter?  
Lois: Yes it is!  
Brian: He doesnt fit the part.  
Lois: How was he even allowed on there?  
*On stage*  
Guy: Oh yes girls! Keep doing your thing!  
*At Lois*  
Lois; I feel like I should do something!  
Brian: Come on this is funny!  
Meg: *Runs to Lois with Stewie* Mom!  
Lois: *Gets startled* Oh its just you Meg.  
Meg: *Gives Lois Stewie and she takes him* What is dad doing!  
Lois: I dont know! But he everyone loves him!  
Stewie: When a fat man dances its funny obviously.  
Peter: And I call that dance the Griffin! Goodnight everybody!  
*Later that night in the hotel room*  
Lois: Peter! You embrassed me!  
Peter: Im sorry Lois!  
Lois: You better be!  
Peter: I know. I promse tommarow I will bond with Meg.  
Lois: Alright Peter. Goodnight.  
Peter: But you owe me.  
*Next day at Peter and Meg are walking down the sidewalk*  
Meg: Where are we going?  
Peter: Somewhere special. Since im suppose to bond with you!  
Meg: Alright.  
Peter: Here!  
Meg: Wheres here?  
Peter: Im gonna teach you how to play on the slots!  
Meg: But im only 18?  
Peter: Not for long. *Puts mustache on Meg and they walk inside a casino*  
Meg: Alright.  
Peter: Go for it!  
Meg: *Sits down and plays slot machine* You know this is fun!  
*5 hours later*  
Peter: Alright Meg come on!  
Meg: Almost done!  
Peter: Come on lets go meet up with your mother! Its almost night and we are gonna go to one of those clubs tonight!  
Meg: Must play more!  
Peter: *Grabs Meg and throws her in the car* I got you!  
*That night at the hotel*  
Lois: How do I look?  
Peter: You look great!  
Lois: Yeah?  
Peter: You havent looked like this in 20 years!  
Lois: You still look the same the last 20 years!  
Peter: I know honey. Go to sleep my lovely daughter Meg.  
Meg: Ok...  
Peter: Alright lets go!  
*At the club that night*  
Lois: *Dancing* This is so fun!  
Peter: I love this song!  
Lois: What song?  
Peter: I dont know but im high!  
Lois: Thats great.  
Peter: Im so high i can drink a couple more beers!  
Lois: Id rather you not!  
Peter: *Drinks alot of beers in one bottle* Time for the big one!  
Lois: Peter its not good!  
Peter: Relax. This is just like that time I was in that beer drinking contest.  
*Flashabck to contest*  
Peter: *Chugs them all down* I feel so good!  
Host: You do!?  
Peter: Yeah! *Burps in his face for a long time*  
Host: We will be back *Dies*  
Lois: This is more than you drink usually!  
Peter: I know how to controll my health!  
Lois: This night was suppose to be fun! We only have 2 more!  
Peter: Your right. *Slow song comes on* Care to dance?  
Lois: Yes. This is what im talking about *Peter and Lois dance* 


	10. Home

*Where we left off*  
Lois: I am gonna remember this moment for a long time...  
*That night at the hotel room*  
Peter: Today was great.  
Lois: Yeah.  
Peter: Without Meg.  
Lois: Without Chris.  
*The next morning at a souveneir shop*  
Peter: *Flicks bobblehead of bob dole* HAHAHAHA!  
Bob Dole: Bob Dole, Bob Dole.  
Peter: *Sees welcome to Vegas statues* Maybe we can buy one of these.  
Stewie: Which one, which one!  
Meg: *Sees daughter and dad buying a souveneir together and Meg sighs* We can never be like that.  
Peter: *Takes Welcome to Las Vegas Sign Statue* This will fit well with my new colection of souveneirs.  
Stewie: T-Shirts. What am I gonna wear shirt for a state that isnt mine? Publicity whores.  
Peter: This has to be one of the best trips weve taken.  
Meg: Dad why are you takling to yourself?  
Peter: And my ugly daughter is right behind me annoying me.  
Lois: Look at these cute president bobbleheads!  
Brian: Yeah they are cute.  
Stewie: *Walks up to brian* Beer!  
Brian: Why do I need to give it to you.  
Stewie: You will pay!  
Brian: Alright, alright. Ill get you that beer.  
Stewie: Yep, by the time we get back home!  
Brian: I got it. Give beer to baby.  
Lois: What?  
Brian: Nothing.  
Stewie: Your dead if I dont get it!  
Brian: I know.  
*At the hotel that night*  
Lois: Well we got alot of souveneirs.  
*Later on when everyones asleep*  
Brian: *Gets up and wakes up Stewie* Beer.  
Stewie: Right.  
*At the bar*  
Brian: We are gonna get drunk till we fall.  
Stewie: Alright lets do this!  
Brian: 2 Martinis for me and the midget.  
Bartender: Alright.  
Brian: This isnt much like The Drunken Clam.  
Stewie: I know, more like a dump.  
Brian: Not much of a dump.  
Stewie: Lets get drunk!  
Brian: Alright wait.  
Stewie: No patience.  
Brian: 5000 BEERS PLEASE!  
*In the car with Brian driving and Stewie in the passengers seat*  
Stewie: Coppers?  
Brian: *Cops stop them and Brian pulls over and the cop comes to the door* Hello?  
Cop: Are you drunk driving?  
Brian: No?  
Stewie: *Opens mouth and beer goes everywhere.  
Cop: Ticket and jail.  
Brian: What!?  
*In Jail Cell*  
Brian: Its all my fault.  
Stewie: Of course it is! You got me drunk!  
Brian: You wanted to get drunk.  
Stewie: Fine, but you will pay!  
*Later that night*  
Lois: Where is Stewie and Brian?  
Peter: I dont know?  
Lois: We got to find them! Brian said he would take Stewie somewhere? *Calls Brian* Brian? *Gasps* Oh no!  
*The next day outside the jail*  
Lois: Did you get Stewie drunk?  
Brian: No. But he did want some beer. Didnt give it too him.  
Peter: Well its the last day we are here in Vegas, maybe we should all be as a family today.  
Lois: Yeah. *They all walk down the sidewalk*  
*In the plane*  
Manager: Where are we going?  
Biker Guy: Quahog.  
Robert: Why that dump?  
Biker Guy: Meg and her family is on this plane.  
Manager: Oh yeah!  
Biker Guy: Hopefully that dont noticed us.  
Manager: No they cant!  
Robert: We are bad just like the paparazzi.  
*In the cockpit*  
Peter: *On Microphone* This is Peter Griffin in the cockpit saying. Heheheheh. Cockpit. Heheheheh.  
Lois: Peter, you acturally fly really well!  
*At the plane seats*  
Stewie: Well, I never got to use my guns.  
Brian: Thats alright. Save them for something else.  
Stewie: Like?  
Brian: How am i supposed to know?  
Stewie: Maybe i can kill off some people.  
Brian: Thats such a good use.  
Stewie: Like a white ugly Meg dog sitting on the right of me.  
Brian: You cant say im ugly. Im a dog everyone thinks im cute. Until you mess with me.  
Stewie: There you go boy.  
Brian: Cant wait to get home. But you know what. That trip was acturally quite fun.  
Stewie: I wouldnt say that but I guess so.  
Brian: You just said you wouldnt say that.  
Stewie: Why not.  
*At the Griffins home well all 6 of them are watching TV*  
Peter: Well that trip was great! I got to teach Meg how to play on the slots, she lost a friend. Brian and Stewie went to jail. Lois: No Brian had stewie and they went to jail.  
Peter: Whatever.  
Brian: Im gonna miss Heather.  
*In a daydream of Brians*  
Brian: Will you marry me Heather.  
Heather: Yes.  
Brian: Lets run into the sunset like a dramatic love ending!  
Heather: Ok!  
Brian: *Runs with Heather* Touch me.  
Heather: What Brian: Nothing. 


End file.
